Number 5 Is Alive!
The possibility that a Short Circuit remake will be heading to a big screen near you just got more possibilitier! The original Wall-E has gotten a scriptwriter. His name: Dan Milano. Milano you may know as the voice of Greg the Bunny (he was also a writer on the show) and one of the writers of “Robot Chicken.”
For those unfamiliar with Short Circuit, well: Good for you. You’re under the age of 25. Congratulations, no one will mock you for loving a crappy talking robot. Has anybody who saw Short Circuit back in the day seen it recently. I bet it’s awful. I prefer to keep my fond memories intact.
Elsewhere, this news has been floating around for a couple of days, but I haven’t written about it because, honestly, I have no flipping idea what Stretch Armstrong is. Apparently, it as a Hasbro toy, and you could stretch his arms. Or something. Steve Oedekerk, the writer behind the Almighty movies, Patch Adams, and The Nutty Professor movies is taking care of script duties. And the once estimable Brian Grazer is producing. He had this to say, according to IGN:
“Stretch Armstrong is a character I have wanted to see on screen for a long time. He’s an unconventional kind of super hero with a power that no one would want. It’s a story about a guy stretching - if you will - the limits of what is possible to become all that he can be.”
Wow, Grazer. Are you getting your talking points from The Hollywood Reporter headline writers? Anyway, that’s happening. Here’s hoping that Evil X-ray Wretch Armstrong returns as the film’s villain. I guess. Also, what the fuck is a Stretch Armstrong? Was that some toy, like the Transformers, that only the rich kids got, while the rest of us poor kids had to settle for Crayons and Slinkies. Bougé motherfuckers.