Today is nerd Hanukkah as Comic-Con erupts in downtown San Diego. I went about a half dozen times over the years, but felt the experience really peaked with the Twilight fanfic panel, Kevin Sorbo shaking his ass at me, and maybe kind of crashing the Christian Comic Arts Society mixer while tipsy.
The other thing that means is that trade news will slow to nothing this week, detonate over the weekend with carefully coordinated “leaks” of information, trailers, and clips, and then the next two weeks will be a dead zone of half rumor and random lists as the entire Hollywood grinder spins dry after it spits out all that gristle.
But what have we got new today?
Well, if retro sci-fi is a setting that is the future as the past imagined it, then what is it called when you film a movie that the past would have made, complete with period accurate bad special effects and costumes? There’s a sliver of a distinction there, and I demand proper terminology. In any case, here’s the trailer for Space Station 76 which looks like a joke movie that Will Farrell would make a trailer for inside a movie like American Hustle. Here’s the trailer:
Yeah. So I want that on my screen. Obligatory plot description:
Space Station 76 is a comedic drama about a group of people (and several robots) living on a space station in a 1970’s-version of the future. When a new Assistant Captain arrives, she inadvertently ignites tensions among the crew, prompting them to confront their darkest secrets. Barely contained lust, jealousy, and anger all bubble to the surface, becoming just as dangerous as the asteroid that’s heading right for them.
And that falls completely flat as a textual prompt to see the film. Some disposable executive should be ground into Big Mac filler for that one.
Also, Dan Aykroyd is claiming that Ghostbusters 3 will start filming in spring. There are not enough grains of salt in a supersized fries to take with that statement. Aykroyd is pretty much the Ghostbusters equivalent of the crazy guy who visits college campuses, yells that all the students are going to hell and that the world is ending on a certain date, which will inevitably be revised the moment it passes. There’s a link and a source, but it’s all bullshit and you’re not going to click on it anyway so let’s all dispense with the charade and move on.
Next, we’ve got the first poster for The Hobbit III: Why Not Fucking Make it Four?:
Fantastic! Three hours of CGI focusing on the brooding hero whose slaying of the dragon consumes about three paragraphs of the book, and a battle that is told in two pages of description since the protagonist is unconscious for it. Gosh, I’m sure glad that we’ve got Peter Jackson to fix all these problems with one of the greatest fantasy stories of the twentieth century. I wonder what Legolas will surf on will shooting blurry pixels this time!?!?
In print news, I don’t think there’s much I haven’t already hit on before. Next week, Joss Whedon’s biography comes out, which if it’s unabridged means either the author can see the future, or Joss secretly died a few weeks ago when it went to press. This is totally how this works. Terry Goodkind has another entry in the interminable Sword of Truth series coming out. I think that makes fourteen or fifteen at this point. I read the first couple at one point before realizing that badly written fantasy Ayn Rand is about the worst thing this side of waking up in a snuff film. I’d kind of like to see him and China Miéville on a panel together just to see the latter verbally annihilate the former.
Steven Lloyd Wilson is a hopeless romantic and the last scion of Norse warriors and the forbidden elder gods. His novel, ramblings, and assorted fictions coalesce at www.burningviolin.com. You can email him here and order his novel here.