Ryan Reynolds. Bill Nighy. Ken Watanabe. Kathryn Newton (Big Little Lies). Chris Geere (You’re the Worst).
Is this the cast for an epic period piece? Are we getting some sort of new mind-blowing Christopher Nolan flick with this cast? Am I just naming excellent actors?
No. Well, sort of yes on the last one, but NO. This? This is the cast for Detective Pikachu. The Pokémon. I didn’t even know Pokémon could join the workforce, but apparently Pikachu breezed his way through the police academy and impressed his higher ups to become a detective. I assume that’s what happened in the video game this movie is based upon.
Pikachu’s crowning achievement in the police force will be this live action film. Allegedly.
Nicole Perlman, well known for co-writing Guardians of the Galaxy and freaking Captain Marvel, apparently lost a bet and wrote the script for Detective Pikachu. Then Eric Pearson (Thor: Ragnarok), Alex Hirsch (Gravity Falls), and Tom McCarthy (Spotlight) ALSO WORKED ON THE SCRIPT TO PREP IT FOR PRODUCTION. ARE YOU KIDDING ME RIGHT NOW.
Pikachu will be voiced by Reynolds. I assume he will also hold the cardboard cutout or ball on a stick used as a stand-in for Pikachu. DEADPOOL IS DETECTIVE PIKACHU. HE AIN’T NEED THIS GIG. COME ON.
Bill Nighy has Very Serious Acting Awards. He is an excellent British actor. I JUST DO NOT EVEN.
Chris Geere is very good on his excellent television series and seems a nice chap. Does he owe money to Ash from gambling loans he can’t pay back?
Kathryn Newton, you are young and on a successful, award-winning show. YOU DON’T HAVE TO DO THIS. WALK AWAY.
Director Rob Letterman, well, this one makes sense. Gulliver’s Travels, anyone? I can allow this one. JUST THIS ONE.
Detective Pikachu is currently filming and will be released next year. Until that day, I will be pitching my Detective Big Daddy and Eternal Darkness: Sanity’s Requiem in the Police Academy films to Hollywood.