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Ryan Reynolds as a Male Stripper cum Secret Service Agent?

By Dustin Rowles | Industry | October 7, 2009 |

By Dustin Rowles | Industry | October 7, 2009 |

You know, this news broke late night night or early this morning, and I couldn’t for the life of me figure out why one of my trusty trade news compatriots — TK or Steven Lloyd Wilson — had not snatched it up for publication before me. Apparently, Steven prioritizes “Doctor Who”, while TK prioritizes a Showgirl sequel over Ryan Reynolds. I mean: What. the. fuck?

Well, in honor of No Whining Wednesday, I’m just going to let that go, and celebrate the fact that I’ve been put in the position of searching through hundreds — no, thousands — of Google images to find just the right one for our R-squared thirsty audience, who I know spend much of their time hitting refresh on our site, awaiting news of the the R² variety.

(And speaking of Mr. Reynolds, did anyone see his stint as host on “SNL” over the weekend? Yeah. I don’t want to talk about it, either.)

Anyway, there’s a movie called Motorcade, that’s apparently a very high priority for Dreamworks — at one point, it had Tom Cruise attached as star, and Len Wiseman (Beckinsale scrumper) attached to direct. Well, Cruise vacated the premises, and Wiseman was replaced by Jon Cassar, who has directed something like 4,987 episodes of “24.” And who but Ryan Reynolds has been tapped (not by me, no sir) to replace Tom Cruise.

The movie sounds … oh, I dunno. Like a standard thriller: Reynolds will play a disgraced Secret Service agent who happens to be in the wrong place at the right time when the US president is kidnapped in New York by terrorists. It sounds an awful lot like an episode of “24” already. Billy Ray (Flightplan, State of Play) is busy working on a script rewrite, one that I imagine will make better advantage of the disgraced, but shirtless Secret Service Agent. I understand that his disgrace has something to do with moonlighting as a male stripper, but that’s just speculation, fueled by some idiot blogger with an unseemly obsession with Reynolds. And he claims he’s straight! Ha! Wife and a kid, my ass!

Everyone Has a Price | Pajiba After Dark 10/07/09

Dustin is the founder and co-owner of Pajiba. You may email him here, follow him on Twitter, or listen to his weekly TV podcast, Podjiba.