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Ryan Gosling's Loathed Directorial Debut Will NEVER Hit Theaters

By Kristy Puchko | Industry | December 30, 2014 |

By Kristy Puchko | Industry | December 30, 2014 |

Whether he’s talking feminism, refusing cereal, or starring in movies big or small, we love us some Ryan Gosling. We’d go so far as to say the Gos, stopper of street fights, crush of the everyone, can do no wrong. But apparently Warner Bros. does not agree.

Variety reports Warner Bros. has decided to bail on releasing Gosling’s directorial debut Lost River (previously titled How to Catch a Monster) in theaters. The fantasy-thriller written and directed by the Gos stars the likes of Christina Hendricks, Saoirse Ronan, Eva Mendes, Ben Mendelsohn, and Matt Smith. But perhaps its best known for scathing reviews following its world premiere at the Cannes Film Festival. Some choices phrases from negative reviews include:

“Oneiric hymn to destruction, an Armageddon anthem” — TIME Magazine

“A chimeric stroke job that leaves you utterly unfulfilled.” —Time Out New York

“Juvenile and dumb” —The Playlist

“A film so mind-bogglingly pleased with itself that the words ‘five stars - a masterpiece - Ryan Gosling’ might as well appear on the poster.” —Daily Telegraph

Yeesh. Don’t hold back, gang.


In less horrible Gosling news, Warner Bros. will be releasing Lost River in a home entertainment format in April. I suspect we’ll be checking it out because 1) Gosling, and 2) anything this poorly reviewed demands our attention. Right? Right.

In the meantime, enjoy the Doctor Matt Smith doing whatever this is from Lost River:

Kristy Puchko is the managing editor of Pajiba. You can follow her on Twitter.

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