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If Your Kid Can't Play Sports, Forget About Being a Good Parent

By Dustin Rowles | Industry | February 12, 2010 |

By Dustin Rowles | Industry | February 12, 2010 |

It’s not a new message, of course, but the continuing trend in parent-child relations in Hollywood is that the only real way a father can bond with his son is through sports. If your kid is overweight or an introverted video-game geek, it’s just not going to work out, father-son wise. I’m sorry to break that.

Peter Cattaneo will be the latest director to hammer home that message. The director of The Full Monty and, more recently, the little-seen The Rocker, is set to direct What the Puck, based on the true story of a father and son who bond over a messy divorce through their mutual love of ice hockey, a mutual love that leads them to the World Junior Championships in Canada.

If that junior ice-hockey team had only managed a 4-5 season, of course, that father and son wouldn’t be talking to each other now — the kid would be calling some other guy with a beard and a punny sense of humor his father.

It’s not funny cause it’s true.

Elsewhere, in dumb kid’s sports movies, Russell Brand — the Yahoo Serious of our Day — is reportedly signed on to play a David Beckham-like millionaire soccer star slash playboy who gets arrested in a Friday Night Lights-like West Texas town and sentenced to community service, which involves coaching a kid’s soccer team.

Man, that community service contrivance will never, ever go away.

You guys remember Will Ferrell’s Kicking and Screaming? No. Nobody does. Five years from now, no one is going to remember this movie, either. In fact, I doubt anyone will remember much of Russell Brand. either, especially if he goes through with that remake of Drop Dead Fred he was once attached to. Does anyone remember Rik Mayall? Of course you don’t — you thought Yahoo Serious starred in Drop Dead Fred, too.*

*(That’s just me, isn’t it?)

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Dustin is the founder and co-owner of Pajiba. You may email him here, follow him on Twitter, or listen to his weekly TV podcast, Podjiba.