Once upon a time Roland Emmerich made the film “Stargate”, and it was the best thing he ever did. Let’s be clear, the movie was not good by definition of that word, but it was satisfyingly fun and creative in the same way that a seven year old mashing random toys from different genres together is fun and creative. The movie itself is relatively forgettable, though it has its own condo in the pantheon of so-bad-they’re-good B-movies.
But it did inexplicably generate three spin off television series that made sure Richard Dean Anderson could retire in style instead of waiting for MacGyver royalties to kick in. And those series ran for a staggering 350 episodes, taking all awards for the combination of longevity and cheesy but fun science fiction television.
Of course Emmerich originally had wanted to make a trilogy and disavows all of the television series as not being part of his original sacred canon. But now that MGM is trying to claw its way back out of whatever the legal term is for catastrophic business collapse due to complete incompetence, they’ve decided to back Emmerich in making his trilogy at last.
But he has to start from the beginning, because it’s been too long, and “the actors look totally different … it would not work.”
Says the Emmerich about the project:
“We went to MGM, who has the rights, and proposed to them to do a sequel, but as a reboot… and reboot it as a movie and then do three parts. Pretty soon we’ll have to look for a writer and start.”
Wait. He needs to find a writer? A decade and a half of moaning that he didn’t get to fulfill his B-movie vision, and that hundreds of television episodes could not capture the grandeur of his mighty story, and he can’t even write the damned thing himself?