You ever get that shaky-violent palsy where you’re so overwhelmed with rage that you can’t form coherent thoughts? That you turn into John Goodman’s character YouTubing it on “Treme?” All that comes to mind is a long series of fuck yous that you can’t push back. You want to rant eloquently, but the only phrase that comes to mind is: Fuck you. Fuck you. Fuck you. Fuck you.
That’s how I felt when I read an op-ed (via Jezebel) from the self-righteous, pompous homophobic nutsack director of the Christian Newsire, Gary McCullough, who blames “American Idol’s” recent ratings drop on Ellen Degeneres. Or more specifically, the fact that she’s a lesbian.
In January, he made this bold prediction:
“I am confident that the producers of American Idol will be shocked when their market share has cratered, and will in all honesty find a dozen other reasons for the drop in ratings. After all, what successful television producer could have a clue what wholesomeness is as long as they see promoting homosexuality as a virtue.”
I would hardly call hanging on to ratings twice as high as the next time-slot competitor a cratering, but those other dozen reasons that the ratings have dropped are a lot more viable than the fact that one of the female judges likes boobs.
Now, he’s making a new prediction:
There will be no left wing social activist as a judge for the tenth season of American Idol. Not only will DeGeneres be gone, she will not be replaced by anyone close to a Rosie O’Donnell wanna-be.
Rosie O’Donnel wanna-be? Bite your tongue, fuck-knuckle. She may be a horrible “AI” judge, but it has nothing to do with her sexuality. And as bad as she is as a judge, she’s still the most likable presence on the “AI” panel.
Moreover, he adds:
DeGeneres’ “Yes, I have loved a woman,” comment from the May 11th show, was the most obvious lesbian-one-liner, but it wasn’t the only one, and it is hurting the show’s ratings. I can hear the bloggers loading their homophobe-blasters, but think this through with me. If one of the judges was an abortion activist, or a political right winger — and continued to insert comments in line with their activism — the same criticism would be true, and the show would suffer. The advice, “Shut up and sing!” comes to mind.
Actually, the advice: “Shut up and die a brutal death!” comes to my mind.
At this moment in entertainment history, network television is on a pro-homosexuality bender. The producers of American Idol chose to be a part of this push; it was a huge mistake. The consequences of this choice were a drop in market share and a reduction in advertising dollars. While many entertainers who profess an alternate sexual lifestyle are individually accepted and enjoyed by the public — when sexual behavior becomes their identifying trait in a specific broadcast, it limits the audience they will draw.
Beyond that, it actually drives away a significant market share of parents and teens who used to watch the show together, until mom and dad decided that the subtle promotion of an “alternate lifestyle” to their kids was not worth the entertainment trade off. Sorry Ellen, you’re just not worth it.
Really? Really? Parents stopped watching “American Idol” with their children because they were afraid they’d get the gay? That the homosexual cooties would be transported through the cathode ray tubes and infect their poor, innocent, increasingly knocked-up, meth-addicted teenage children?
The ratings drop (and let’s be honest: It’s still by and far the number one rated show on television) can be attributed to the fact that Ellen Degeneres makes out with a woman? And not the fact that this season’s roster of contestants was the weakest bunch since Season One. Really? This season had a glass-blower whose sole talent was to end each song with an ear-piercing shriek. But let’s blame the gays. This season had exactly two memorable performers, neither of which are particularly compelling people. Oh, and I don’t see you blaming the ratings drop on the unwed mother with the dreads? Is it because we learned last week that she’s a Christian, too?
Fuck you, dude. Fuck you exactly the way you want it, you overcompensating closeted motherfucker: In the ass. You pea-brained, narrow-minded fucknut. Teenagers do not give a shit about a person’s sexual orientation anymore. The only people that do are closeted right-wing assholes. I hope to God when you come out, the gays roundly reject your ass, too.
Perhaps next we will see the pro-pedophilia group NAMBLA use its influence in Hollywood to have “Dancing with the Stars” seat Roman Polanski as a judge.
You’re comparing homosexuality to pedophilia? Really? You vile, beady-eyed ugly little creature. May you rot in the lower depths of hell.