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The Crew Stood In a Circle While He Got the Sh*t Slapped Out of Him. It Was Just Like My 12th Birthday.

By Brian Prisco | Industry | April 22, 2010 |

By Brian Prisco | Industry | April 22, 2010 |

Konnichwa, bitches. Gariana Abeyta and Grae Drake, the fine ladies of the Popcorn Mafia podcast that’s been airing once weekly for the past two years, celebrated their achievement with a live broadcast from the New Beverly Cinema last night. As customary, it was a raucous affair and a good time was had by all. Diablo Cody, all preggo with her own eggo, joined the festivities as the two ladies resurrected the ’80s, laying down commentary on Zapped and Wall Street with their customary aplomb. And by that, I mean five minutes into the show, decked out like the Jersey Twat still Eyetalian Material Girl, Gariana shook out her tutu-like skirt and grunted, “This is why people in the ’80s died from AIDS. Wearing shit like this. There’s nowhere to put condoms.”

The show was a cavalcade of insanity, as to be expected. It opened with a short film called Juno’s Body, where Gariana, carrying a jug of OJ and pregnant by last year’s special guest Andy Dick, gets attacked by Grae who goes demonic. Two babies were hurt in the filming of the project. Then a noticably drunk Judy Tenuta comes out, mumbles through a few minutes of stand-up, and introduces their burlesque girl, who — decked out like Heath Ledger’s joker — bounces and shimmies across stage before picking up a big-wheel sized handgun that blew toilet paper across the stage. And then the two ladies came out on stage, where they instantly made “Fuck Earth Day” and “Mexicans with leafblower” jokes. And that’s why we love them.

Their shtick runs as blue as a Smurf dying like David Carradine in the throws of an Na’vi embrace, but they love their audience. No matter the guest — whether it’s Max Landis (son of John Landis), Marc Heuck (former movie geek from the ol’ Comedy Central gameshow Beat the Geeks), or even some douchey bearded film critic that’s a friend — they treat everyone with ragging and respect. They razzed Cody about her Oscar, Gariana claiming she’d drill a hole in its head and wear it Flavor Flav style.

Picked months ago, they couldn’t have found two more timely flicks. Zapped star Scott Baio just made the news for being abso-batfuckingshit insane on his Twitter rants, while his white trash trophy wife prattles on Facebook in broken middleschool text speech about racism and religion. Michael Douglas just made the news as his son is staying in prison for drug charges. And yet, the girls didn’t go for the crotch shots like I would have opted, but rather made fun of the date rape-y nature of Zapped (a telekinetic uses his powers to strip classmates naked) and the ludicrous technology of Wall Street today. Cody seemed stunned at first — biting her lip to keep from laughing at handicapped riffs and lambasting of sequels — but quickly chilled and was able to hold her own against the tangential maelstrom that is the Popcorn Mafia.

The show’ll probably be up some time next week, but you can go and listen to their other podcasts at Popcorn Mafia. (Especially the one titled, “How to Make Love the Prisco County Jr. Way”). These were the ladies who brought us the Gooby trailer, and this year was no disappointment, as they broke my brain with the fucking trailer for Zardoz. Remember those pics of a darker bearded Sean Connery in a loincloth? It’s actually a movie! And holy fuck me in the face, it’s awe-inspiring.

Pop on over and offer your congrats, and hopefully I’ll be seeing the ladies soon when I cover Comic-Con this year.

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