We’ve known for a while that they’re developing a remake for Red Dawn. Chris Hemsworth, in fact, has already been cast in the Patrick Swayze role (he’s also been cast as Thor). But before I announce the new additions to the new cast, I think this has to be said, just to put it on the record: Red Dawn is kind of a bad movie.
No. It is a really bad movie.
Granted, I know many of you have a soft spot for the flick — you were 8 or 9 when you first saw it, and your brain had not fully formed. I don’t hold your nostalgic love against you. But it was a really bad movie. And in case you haven’t seen it in 20 years, just take a look at the trailer again and let it wash over you anew:
See? Soul Man is in it. Jennifer Grey is toting a machine gun. And there’s enough cheese in it to open up a Little Caesar’s franchise. All I’m saying is: The remake can’t be any worse. And stunt coordinator (Bourne Identity, Quantum of Solace) turned assistant director turned first-time director, Dan Bradley, has an awfully low bar here. (Oh, shaddup Slim — knocking the obvious doesn’t make me a Commie). And while I expect that Bradley will improve the effects (he can’t do much worse), it does look like he’ll keep the campy vibe — it’s kind of necessary when you’re talking about a group of high schoolers taking on an army of Chinese and Russian soldiers
Anyway, the latest additions are Josh Peck, who will be taking the role originated by Charlie Sheen (upgrade!) and Adrianne Palicki, who will be taking Jennifer Grey’s old role as the machine-gun wielding hottie who falls in love with Hemsworth’s character. It should be noted that Palicki is 26, but that hasn’t stopped her from convincingly playing a teenager in “Friday Night Lights,” and she’s probably the best actress among the younger cast on that show. And Peck too many of you may unfortunately know from “Drake and Josh,” but rest assured, he’s a good actor (have you seen The Wackness yet? How many fucking times do we have to ask you? Come on. Stop watching old “Buffy” episodes and Netflix it for God’s sake. ) Still: I expect it will be a lightweight action movie. You know: For the kids.