Tonight at 10 p.m., you have no business doing anything but pouring a tall glass of your alcoholic beverage of choice, loosening any tight garments, sitting your ass on the couch and tuning the television to em-tee-vee. Yes, that channel that used to play music videos.
“But Seth,” you says, “I’m not a 12-year-old girl,” you says.
Well, that may be true. But, with apologies to any actual 12-year-old female readers, exceptions can be made, for when “Real World/Road Rules Challenges” are on, we are all 12-year-old girls. We giggle at the idiocy, ogle the boys and girls who look almost pretty when caught in just the right fleeting light, wonder at the copious amounts of alcohol imbibed by these meatheads, whores, d-bags and celebretard-wannabes who have given over their lives for our entertainment.
“But Seth,” you says, “you can’t be fucking serious,” you says.
Oh I am, dear reader. I am as serious as a mother fucking your-left-arm-is-hurting heart attack. The Duel 2 is about to step on our faces and rock us like hurricanes and we can do nothing but soak it in, eat it up and hope to survive it. Believe.
Yes yes yes yes, yes yes yes, I can’t believe CT’s gonna get thrown off again for being a ragingly violent prick, yes yes yes! I am weak in the knees and can do nothing but bow down in the presence of greatness and succumb to the wonder and joy about to unfold.