9. Draft Day — A really bad, really corny commercial for one of Kevin Costner’s many upcoming movies. Putting Peyton Manning in it didn’t help. In fact, I’m less likely to see it now, because as a huge, lifelong hardcore Manning fan, I need a six-month break to get over a loss that validated everything terrible people who dislike Manning accuse him of.
8. Need for Speed — Jesus, the more ads I see of this, the more I dislike it. They really should’ve eschewed marketing all together, and just said, “Jesse Pinkman is in this, bitch!” over a black screen. I’d have been more excited about it than I am now.
7. Pompeii — They want to make damn sure we know that this movie has a lot of special effects, don’t they? Uh, mission accomplished!
6. The Amazing Spider-Man 2 — Well, we know there are going to be lots of skyscraper jumps and explosions, huh? Honestly, if it weren’t for the spider suit and the occasional glimpse of Emma Stone, there’s not that much difference between this and a typical Transformers spot.
5. Monuments Men — There’s probably like 3 explosions in this entire movie, but they made damn sure to include them in the trailer. Otherwise, the trailer is mostly like, “Hey! Look at all the famous people in this movie. Watch us!” I feel bad, because the $4 million they spent on this spot is probably going to be half its opening weekend take.
4. Transformers 4: Age of Extinction — On the other hand, I actually kind of liked this trailer, not because it was that different from any other Transformers commercial, but because Wahlberg is a huge step up from LaBeouf, and because when my son saw it, he exclaimed: “Is that a dinosaur Transformer?! Awesome. Cooooool!” I won’t deny that I was influenced by that.
3. Captain America: Winter’s Soldie — This didn’t actually air during the Super Bowl (because it would’ve cost $20 million), but there was a teaser for it that asked us to check the website for it. It’s a good trailer, but not much different than the one we’ve already seen in theaters.
2. Noah — For a movie I’m not that excited about, I actually thought this was a pretty good spot. At least it looked a little different from the other action-movie trailers they aired last night.
1. Muppets Most Wanted — I don’t know who is running the show on the Muppet marketing, but I like to think that it’s Tina Fey personally. They are brilliant, sending up movie critics, Twitter culture, and movie marketing itself. I effing love this spot. It may have been the best ads of ALL the Super Bowl.