Here’s a bunch of other movie news. Some of it is interesting, some of it is painfully dull, and some of it is simply fucking painful. Your decisions based on which is which will also decide whether or not you live or die.
Dakota Fanning, the adorable moppet from those movies that needed adorable moppets with creepy-ass eyes, will play a pretty, pretty princess. No, it’s not a Robert Scott biopic. Instead, it’s a upcoming film called Girls’ Night Out. She’ll play a young Princess Margaret, who, in 1945 on the eve of Germany’s surrender, “is allowed out from Buckingham Palace for one night to join in the celebrations. Alongside her yet-to-be-cast sister Elizabeth, the two have an adventurous night on the town.” (THR)
Speaking of Brits, here’s a shot of Meryl Streep as Margaret Thatcher in the upcoming The Iron Lady. Hey, did you know that Anthony Head (Giles on “Buffy”) is in this, as Thatcher’s favored Cabinet minister and dickface extraordinaire Geoffrey Howe? Well, now you know.
(Film School Rejects)
I was initially kind of excited about this: Anton Yelchin (Star Trek, Terminator Salvation, The Beaver) has been cast as Odd Thomas in the in-development adaptation of Dean Koontz’s book, Odd Thomas. It’s a pretty good book, as far as Koontz stuff goes. And then I saw that Stephen Sommers (GI Joe, Van Helsing) is directing, and I punched a kitten. (Slashfilm)
However, any Famke Janssen news is good news. The lovely and inexplicably underused Ms. Janssen has been cast in a still-unknown role in Hansel & Gretel: Witch Hunters, which stars Jeremy Renner and Gemma Arterton as the aforementioned with hunters, all groweds up. That’s a solid cast you’ve got there, Tommy Wirkola (Dead Snow). (Dark Horizons)
mmm… Gemma Arterton
Continuing with our fairy tale theme, Tarsem Singh’s Brothers Grimm: Snow White has it’s evil queen. It’s Julia Roberts. No, seriously. Stop laughing. It’s fucking Julia Roberts. On the bright side, maybe she’ll actually act in this one, instead of just continuing to play Julia Roberts. Oh, and it’ll be in 3D, because I know you kids love the 3D!
But wait, that’s not all! There’s another Snow White project in the works: Universal’s Snow White And The Huntsman. The rumored cast right now is Kristen Stewart as Snow White, Charlize Theron as the Queen, and Viggo Mortenson as the Hunstman. None of those are confirmed, but, ah… one of these things is not like the others.
I’M NOT DONE YET. Because there’s yet another Snow White film in the works. No, I assure you, I am not fucking shitting you. Disney is adapting their own property again, called Snow and the Seven. Except it’ll take place in 19th century China. I have no idea how to process that information. (source for all things Snow White-related: Collider)
In other fantasy-related news, there’s some befuddling shit going on regarding the female lead in Wrath Of The Titans, the sequel to dreadfully dull Clash Of The Titans. Rosamund Pike (An Education), has been cast in the role of Andromeda, who was previously played by Alexa Davalos in the original… er… remake… of the original. No word on what happened to Davalos, but what’s equally puzzling is that the female lead in Clash was actually Io, played by Gemma Arterton. So I don’t know if Arterton is coming back either, but frankly I’ve already thought about this too much so here’s Rosamund Pike, who is exquisitely gorgeous:
(Film School Rejects)
And lastly, the mayor of Detroit has put the kibosh on the idea of constructing a Robocop statue. Seriously, dude? Why the fuck not? The only effect this could have would be to make Detroit a cooler city, and considering it’s a friggin’ pit right now, how can you refuse? I’m disappointed in you, Mayor Bing.