Last week, Dustin alerted us of the coolest actors to land pilots in the upcoming television season. It was all very positive and celebratory and lovely. That said, it’s not all sunshine and gumdrops in the land of television’s future. There are some marked frowny faces on the horizon, friends. And someone needs to warn you.
The good news: Gary Cole!
The bad news: Chad Michael Murray. Didn’t we as a nation say a very large no (and our prior yes was a “um…yeeeeaahhh, I suppose…” at best) to him? In fact, what little novelty he had was long worn, even by the time he got engaged to a high school student. Also, speaking of people we completely rejected despite the entertainment industry’s best efforts, Claire Forlani will be in this show as well.
Untitled Mandy Moore Project
The good news: Stockard Channing and Kurt Fuller!
The bad news: Mandy Moore. Look, she seems adorable. Likeable as can be. I’d love to grab a coffee with her and talk about what a twat Zach Braff is. But, she’s never quite recaptured that Saved potential. As an actor, she’s kind of like an acorn. When they start hitting the ground, you’re all “hey, look at the acorn, isn’t that nifty?” and then within minutes you’re slipping and falling on them and they’re just kind of irritating and in your way. No one dislikes acorns, it’s just…no one is super stoked on them, either. She’s also like overly labored similes about acorns.
The good news: Anthony LaPaglia! Superb.
The bad news: Ashley Greene, who has impressively managed to be the most annoying performer in the entire Twilight series. Bravo, flippy hair, bravo.
The good news: Connie Britton!
The bad news: A singing Hayden Panettiere.
The good news: Freema Agyeman, and you know I love me some Martha Jones.
The bad news: Did I mention that Carrie Diaries is the teen prequel to Sex and the City? Because Carrie Diaries is the teen prequel to Sex and the City.
White Van Man
The good news: J.K. Simmons!
The bad news: Leah Remini, who has existed only at the level of excruciating since the early ’90s.
The Smart One
The good news: This is that Portia de Rossi/Malin Ackerman/Jean Smart pilot of which Dustin spoke!
The…hmmm…news: David Arquette is also involved. This could go either way. He’s heavily obnoxious, but has his more Tudyk-y moments, too, albeit rare ones.
In other stupid news…
- Dane Cook got a pilot, too, as a radio DJ mad that he has to work with a woman. Seriously.
- Jerry Trainor has a pilot coming to Nick at Nite. Trainor is best known as the brother on iCarly, and, for those of you who are unfamiliar, he is basically Jim Carrey at his most annoying, only without any trace of discernible talent.