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Green Is The New Blah

By Brian Prisco | Industry | January 13, 2010 |

By Brian Prisco | Industry | January 13, 2010 |

I’m not gonna lie. I’ve stopped giving a damn about comic book movie adaptations. There are so fucking many these days. I mean, any asshole in tights is getting his own movie. I think from now until 2015 there’s a friggin’ caped crusader crusading every two months. It’s a little much. It’s like when all horror movies were creepy little kids twitching up and down staircases and shit and playing illicit twister.

But of all the comic book movies that are coming out, I think the one I give these least shit about is Green Lantern. Oh, but what about Blackest Night and—

Don’t care. Can’t care. There’s no way they’re gonna make it any good. I mean, Ryan Reynolds is already playing Deadpool in two different franchises. And yet the producers thought, fuck it, someone’s gotta play Green Lantern — a character that has literally been every race and gender and species. Air Bud could be fucking Green Lantern at this point. Then they gave him Blake Lively as a love interest like they literally plucked her out of a box of yardsale Barbies.

And now, news is that Peter Sarsgaard is due to play the villain in the upcoming Green Lantern flick, which starts shooting in March. Now I love the man, and he’s an extremely talented actor. But do you really want to see him as a bad guy? I’m sure he can play menacing, but Sarsgaard is of that school of Smoking Jacket suave. Like Jeff Goldblum, Julian McMahon, and Paul Rudd. Sure, they COULD be a villain, but why? I guess if they’re dueling dullards it works.

Eh, it’s not like it matters. It’s fucking Green Lantern.

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