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The Pajiba Casting Couch

By Dustin Rowles | Industry | August 10, 2009 |

By Dustin Rowles | Industry | August 10, 2009 |

This post is dedicated entirely to a series of dog-and-pony casting announcements that aren’t that interesting in isolation, but if you add them all up and run them in a single post, it often leaves the provocative stink of intrigue.

First up on our casting couch: Paul Giamatti, who flounders, sweats, and grunts, and leaves lasting ass imprints on the fabric. According to The Boston Globe, of all places, Giamatti has stepped in to fill the role of Larry in the Farrelly Bros. Three Stooges movie, a role recently vacated by Sean Penn, who decided to take a year-long sabbatical and find himself, which is to say: Stop licking Lithuanian prostitutes and spend some quality time with Princess Buttercup. Benicio Del Toro is still assigned to the role of Moe, but the speculation that Jim Carrey would play Curly was apparently unfounded. There’s still no one cast for that role yet.

Elsewhere, Edward James Olmos — who makes couch love with his piercing eyes and his clothes on — has apparently been cast in The Green Hornet, although details are scant. However, Jay Chou has also been cast as the Green Hornet’s sidekick, Kato. I have no idea who he is, but he’s a Taiwanese actor with seven credits, only one of which I’m familiar: The Curse of the Golden Flower.

Frank Langella, who only sleeps with young, female casting directors, and does while whispering Shakespearean sweet nothings, has been added to the cast of Wall Street 2: Money Never Sleeps (the current economy might beg to differ). Langella will play Lewis Zabel, an old-time broker who mentors LaBeouf’s character, a young Wall Street broker. Apparently, the mentor’s fate plays a major part in the film’s plot. Josh Brolin is also negotiating to join the cast.

Finally, a foursome of young, eager actors who left unfortunate stains on our casting couch while performing for director Dan Bradley, has been added to the cast of Red Dawn. Here’s the run-down: Josh Hutcherson (Journey to the Center of the Earth) will step into C. Thomas Howell’s role; Isabel Lucas (the freaky Transformer seductress in Revenge of the Fallen) will take over Lea Thompson’s role; Edwin Hodge (Mental) will take Brad Savage’s part; and Connor Cruise — son of Tom — will take Darren Dalton’s role. That foursome joins the already cast Chris Hemsworth, Josh Peck, and Adrianne

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Dustin is the founder and co-owner of Pajiba. You may email him here, follow him on Twitter, or listen to his weekly TV podcast, Podjiba.