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Exclusive: Pajiba's Biggest Piece of Breaking News Ever -- We've Got The Emmy Nominations Early!!!

By Seth Freilich | Industry | July 15, 2009 |

By Seth Freilich | Industry | July 15, 2009 |

Best Drama Series: Some bullshit, some other bullshit, some pretentious bullshit, some self-serious bullshit.

Best Comedy Series: Some not-funny bullshit, some other not-funny bullshit, some more not-funny bullshit, “Two and a Half Men.”

Best Actor in a Drama Series: This douchebag, that douchebag, that other douchebag, you know that guy’s gay right?

Best Actress in Drama Series: Whore, whore, tramp, she’s not a whorish tramp she just plays one on TV.

Best …: Whatever, I give up, this gag’s wearing thing, you get the fucking point.

Yes. Tomorrow morning, bright and spanking early, the Emmy nominations come out. Of course we’ll be posting about ‘em. Because we live to simultaneously suck from the Hollywood teat while trying to figure out a way to bite it the fuck off. That’s how we do. But when it’s 9 a.m. on the East Coast and you fuckers are belly-aching about “where the Emmy post at, Pajiba bitches,” just come back to this post and suck m’nuts, cause I’m a-still be asleep. We’ll post about the Emmy noms tomorrow, but at our damn time of our own damn choosing.

Besides, you think that list is really gonna be much better than what I got up there? Trust, you going to have plenty to piss, moan and complain about, whatever your TV predilections.

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Seth is a Senior Editor and sometime critic. You may email him here or follow him on Twitter.