It’s been a while, but I would like to share with you the things I saw today that I am in no way excited about happening. In Hollywood.
Happy Death Day 2
Rebecca didn’t like the original horror Groundhog Day, but I thought it was pretty good. I hated the lead, but I loved the progression of Tree in her investigation to find her killer. Not her character arc, really. It was cliche and dumb, but SHE GOT KILLED SO MANY DIFFERENT WAYS! It was enjoyable.
Do you know what I don’t need? A sequel. We don’t know why Tree magically got to respawn until she found her killer. Even if we did know, we don’t need a second movie with the same premise.
The Grudge Reboot
Oof, we already ruined Japanese horror movies by making inferior versions of them with Americans becoming entangled with the ghosts of people that died while in a powerful rage, passing a curse, blah blah blah. Then there were sequels. Now? Now there will be a reboot with Demian Bichir (Alien: Covenant) and Andrea Riseborough (Waco).
Insert creepy crackling ghost noise here.
Alden Ehrenreich’s Stupid, Non-Harrison Ford Face On This Solo Poster
Everyone Saying They Want To Be The Next Wolverine
IT IS FOOLISH, SCOTT EASTWOOD, FOR YOU TO THROW THE HAT YOUR DADDY GAVE YOU INTO THE RING. Tom Payne? I don’t know you because I gave up on The Walking Dead before they left that farm or whatever, but also DON’T BE STUPID. DO YOU KNOW WHY IT IS SO TRIFLING THAT DUDES ARE TRYING FOR THE PART?
Daddy’s little girl, X-23, needs a trilogy first, boys. So sit your sorry asses down and let her show you how to be a badass.