It’s not going to happen, OK? You’ve come close, Hollywood. The highlight was probably Resident Evil, Christopher Gans was awfully close with Silent Hill, and… um… then there was… that… other one. YOU SEE? You can’t do it. Every time you try, with a couple of minor exceptions, you freaking fail. Sure, movies like Lara Croft: Tomb Raider made a boatload of money, but overall? Crap. Craptaastic, craperrific, crappity crap craposcity. Am I making myself clear?
Apparently not, since the next two projects to currently give me the ragey shakes is that two studios are looking to reboot two franchises.
First, Universal wants to take another crack at Doom, based on the old ID game. The first film had a surprisingly interesting cast, including Dwayne Johnson and Karl Urban. It was horrible. I mean horrible. It was completely without merit or any redeeming aspects whatsoever. So in a way, I guess, why the fuck not. They’ve got nowhere to go but up, right? There hasn’t been a new Doom game in eons, but the fanbase is still there, I suppose. I play it on my phone when I’m bored. But the silliness of rebooting a movie from 2005 is a bit mind boggling, but hey, if it works for Spider-Man, right?
Now here’s where things get a little bit more interesting. The folks at GK Films have picked up the rights to Tomb Raider, and the timeliness of this is rather key. Game developer Crystal Dynamics is about to release a new Tomb Raider — the video game — that’s supposed to be something of a new take on the character as well. It’s set when she’s much younger and still coming into her skills, and she’s trapped on a deserted island and struggling for survival. There was a pretty cool article in Game Informer a couple of months ago, and I confess it looked pretty remarkable. They’ve redesigned the character pretty radically and made her much more realistic. Check it:
Now, there’s no word on whether or not the new movie studio would follow along with the new game’s trend, but it makes sense that since the property itself is getting a makeover, that the film side of things does too. God, I never thought I’d be sort-of agreeing with the decision to reboot a Tomb Raider movie. But there’s a certain logic to it.
(source: Paste Magazine)