Dustin reported last September the exciting news that Paul W.S. Anderson was going to be making another version of The Three Musketeers thus shitting all over the mighty legacy of Sheen, Sutherland, Chris O’Donnell, and that guy from “Murphy Brown.” I loved that movie when I was a kid, which is compelling evidence in support of the theory that childhood is a mental disease. It always terribly confused me that the musketeers had swords instead of muskets.
In any case, the honorable Mr. Anderson has found time in his busy schedule of Resident Evil shoots to cast his 3D affront to the human spirit. You’ll never guess who he cast as the female lead! Milla Jovovich! Between Anderson and Tim Burton, Hollywood almost needs a version of the Rooney rule requiring directors to at least give a token interview to people besides their wives for roles. Her role is described as a “17th-century Bond girl.”
Logan Lerman, the kid from Percy Jackson: Harry Potter goes Greek has been cast as D’Artagnan. Bleh, he doesn’t even look old enough to grow facial hair. And the first thing that pops up on his IMDB page is that he was born and raised in Beverly Hills and always wanted to be an actor. It’s that personal experience with adversity that really makes his actressin’ special.
Ray Stevenson (oh Pullo, why?), Luke Evans (Clash of the Titans [shrug]), and Matthew Macfadyen (Robin Hood [I dunno]) round out the cast as the three actual musketeers and Christoph Waltz (even Oscar winners need to pay the bills) and Mads Mikkelsen will play the villains.