There’s one upside to Roger Ebert’s video-games-get-off-of-my-lawn rant. I used to immediately sigh every time I’d see news that a good video game was being optioned into a movie, because as everyone knows, video game movies are always terrible. Now that process is a lot more complicated.
I immediately think, “well at least I can finally appreciate that great story as art instead of as glorified Tetris.” Then I think “suck it Ebert.” But then I feel guilty because he lost his jaw to cancer, and then inspirationally bitchslapped cancer and went back to writing, and so any even tangentially mouth related jibe feels very wrong. Kind of like how you feel really awkward if you reflexively make a crack about someone’s mom when you are in fact close personal friends with their mother. So yeah, it’s complicated.
Anyway, Mass Effect got optioned and is being made into a movie. Mark Protosevich will be writing. He’s written three previous movies: The Cell, Poseidon and I Am Legend. First: The Cell and Poseidon had scripts? Second: since the script for I Am Legend involved changing the ending to destroy the entire point of the fucking novel, he’s obviously uniquely suited for the world of video game adaptations since that’s apparently the sine qua non for their production getting green lit.
On the bright side, Avi and Ari Arad are executive producers, and between the two of them, they have been producers of pretty much all of the Marvel comic book movies of the last decade. Of course, that’s also the dark side, because that list includes shit like Wolverine and Elektra.