Jesus, you can’t make crap like this up. It’s like a hemorrhagic dysentery of the mind. Real Steel, otherwise known as That Robot Boxing Movie That Can’t Possibly Be A Real Film is actually being made. Dustin was the first of us to catch wind of it last September, and I remember that day well, for it was the news post that gave me a paroxysm of aneurysms. Well, this update will be another clot thrower.
Here’s what we already knew: Shawn Levy (director of both Night at the Museum affronts, The Pink Panther and Cheaper by the Dozen) is helming the picture. He’s actually a perfect fit at director because all his movies are crap, and this movie looks to be crap.
We also have the general pitch which is that in a world gone mad, boxing has been outlawed and so now eight-foot-tall robots box instead. It’s a tale of redemption and hope as a former boxer bonds with his estranged son by becoming a promoter. Levy describes the film as a “rousing sports movie.” Which is encouraging since I’ve always found rousing ones to be more entertaining than the soporific ones.
The inexplicable thing is that Hugh Jackman is starring as the fighter-turned-promoter, because apparently those Wolverine residuals were smaller than expected. And filming has actually begun for a 2011 release date, so none of that ambiguity of “well maybe he’ll find something better to do.”
Here’s the first picture released:
Ok, I’ll throw them one small bone on this project. They are using only limited CGI and have built 19 different eight-foot tall animatronic robots that are getting filmed with stop-motion techniques. And they’ve brought in Sugar Ray Leonard as an advisor. So, yeah, if you’re going to insist on making a movie about giant boxing robots, then those are actually smart things to do.
I just hope that a tragedy doesn’t occur in the ring, leaving Jackman to pull the plug on his fighter.