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How Do You Make Sparkly Vampires Gayer?

By Brian Prisco | Industry | April 8, 2010 |

By Brian Prisco | Industry | April 8, 2010 |

Bill Condon, director of Dreamgirls and Chicago, is in talks to direct the fourth installment of the Twilight Saga, Breaking Dawn. This makes him director number four, having possibly or probably beaten out guys like Gus Van Sant, Sofia Coppola, M. Night Shamalyan and 12-year-old YouTube profiler MrsCullen4LIFE. With them supposedly needlessly divvying up the final book ala The Deathly Hallows, it’s gonna need some sparkly showtunes to keep it swinging. Particularly when the finale involves the protagonists NOT FUCKING FIGHTING.

Personally, I would have gone with Gus Van Sant. Depressed, maudlin teens moping around a Seattle forest suffering for their angst? The motherfucker practically auditioned with Elephant and his Kurt Cobain pic. At least, maybe this way, it’ll end with a shooting.

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