Ahhh, Hollywood Word Jumble — a game that Hollywood persists on bringing out, even though no one wants to play. But the gears of studio dementia keep turning, continuing their unstoppable march towards cinematic Armageddon. Well, now we’ve got a doozy for you.
Anyone remember the old TV show “Laverne and Shirley”? I have a vague memory of it, mainly because I enjoyed the lovable skeeze-bags Lenny and Squiggy.
Anyway, since we’re making everything in the fucking history of ever into movies, it’s apparently Laverne and Shirley’s turn in the barrel.
The barrel is where you get fucked, by the way.
Anyway, here’s where things get fun. And by fun, I mean go fuck yourself. Garry Marshall is planning on directing the adaptation, because he hasn’t inflicted enough pain on us with the repeated cockpunches of Valentine’s Day, The Princess Diaries 2, and Georgia Rule. He’s found his writer, too.
Whosaidwhatnow? Yeah. Now, I’ll concede that Jamie Foxx showed some serious comedic talent, as both a writer and an actor, in the old “In Living Colour” days, but… seriously? WAIT BECAUSE IT GETS BETTER! Marshall said in a recent interview that:
“It’s a whole different modern day take on how they came up on the streets during difficult times. Laverne would be this very tough girl with a big ‘L’ tattooed on her arm. Jennifer Garner would play Laverne and Jessica Biel would play Shirley.”
Folks, there’s no amount of funky seafood I could eat or dirty water I could drink that would make me crazy enough to make that shit up. A whole other take on it! It’ll be gritty, because it’ll have a woman with a tattoo instead of an embroidered sweater. So there you have it. Jennifer Garner. Jessica Biel. Jamie Foxx. Garry Marshall. “Laverne and Shirley.”
Hollywood Word Jumble!
(Source: TV Guide)