Ah, Colin Farrell. You are quite the cinematic conundrum. All of your zany persona; antics aside, you’re an excellent actor. I know this, because I’ve seen it. Tigerland. In Bruges. Crazy Heart. Your googly-eyed crazypants portrayal of the assassin Bullseye was the only remotely decent part of that pile of rancid dog vomit known as Daredevil ( I will never forgive you, Mark Steven Johnson. You hear me? Never. You’ve completely botched one of my all-time favorite supeheroes, you son of a bitch).
Regardless, the point is, Colin Farrell is a solid actor who makes some terrible decisions. The latest news is that his newest role is a supporting one in the blandly titled Something Borrowed, to be directed by Luke Greenfield, the man who cursed all of mankind with the Rob Schneider-starring abomination, The Animal. There is no hell hot enough for a man who would create that… that… thing.
Anyway, here’s the insipid, terrible plot of this newest rom-com (courtesy of Dark Horizons):
Based on Emily Giffin’s 2005 debut novel of the same name, the story centers on a single Manhattan attorney (Ginnifer Goodwin). This consummate good-girl gets drunk on her 30th birthday and ends up sleeping with Dexter (Colin Egglesfield), the fiancé of her selfish best friend Darcy (Kate Hudson).
As the mistake blossoms into a full-blown affair, she must decide between her life-long friend and the man of her dreams.
Farrell will play Dexter’s best friend, and John Krasinski is also set to co-star. Ginnifer Goodwin I saw most recently in the abysmal He’s Just Not That Into You, which had similarly blitheringly stupid themes about love and friendship. I’m looking forward to her playing a similarly pathetic and unlikeable character who ends up with the perfect man. And seriously, can we just fucking can the whole “nice girl with a bitchy best friend” plot device? Not to mention why would you even consider a man who cheats on his fucking fiancée? Oh, and the title? Get it? Something Borrowed? Like, because it’s about weddings? And a friend who has sex with her best friend’s fiancée? And yet she’s supposed to be the sympathetic character? The only way this movie would save itself is if it ended with the whole fucking cast being devoured by wolves.
Romantic comedies make me want to hurl Hollywood into the sun, I swear. Things like this are what led Dustin and me to write this piece.
I guess what I’m saying is that I’m not too keen on this project. Another way of phrasing it would be to say that this movie looks absolutely atrocious.