In exciting news that has nothing to do with celebrity sexual misconduct and everything to do with making my heart skip a few beats, a slew of new character posters were released for Marvel’s upcoming Black Panther movie, AKA the only thing I’m living for anymore.
And sure, we could simply post them below for your amusement, but that seems far too fleeting. These posters deserve to be savored, pondered, and appreciated at length. They’re more than just a collection of actors or the accumulated efforts of a massive Hollywood marketing machine. They are things of beauty, from the costumes to the weapons to the fierce attitudes on display (not to mention, ya know, DAT CAST THO). Also, on a personal note, I’m sick to death of bad poster photoshop jobs where characters are lit by random nonsensical light sources — but not here. These people are beautifully lit. I could not give a single solitary crap about this movie and STILL want to look at these posters, just based on the lighting.
So I figured I’d rank them in terms of impact, because… well, because I feel like it and Dustin said this would be a night post anyway so whatever, I’ma do what I want. Let’s get judgy!
Consideration was paid to the level of sheer badassery on display, as well as the posters that successfully added a new dimension to the character in question. Which is important, because we still have a few months of waiting ahead of us so any inkling of new information is welcome. And yes, objective prettiness was also a factor.
So, in order from “Fuck yeah!” to “Still pretty sweet but not fist-pumpingly so,” here are the new character posters:
1) “Her Brother’s Keeper” — Letitia Wright as Shuri
This is a character poster that says, “I know this movie is about my brother, but creatively that may be a GRAVE MISTAKE. Look at me! I’ve got a panther on my fucking FIST!” And even T’Challa himself agrees! In a recent interview with CNET, Chadwick Boseman called Shuri the “Tony Stark of Wakanda” and said, “Her role is the most important.” Based on this poster, I think he may be onto something…
2) “Her Nation’s Honor” — Danai Gurira as Okoye (Dora Milaje)
This warrior is so badass, you don’t even need to see her face. Most of the character posters made me want to know the characters better. This one just made me want to BE HER.
3)”His King’s Commands” — Forest Whitaker as Zuri
Ok, full disclosure: this poster ranks in the top three purely because it makes me want to give Forest Whitaker a hug. I mean, just look at him!
4)”His Enemy’s Revenge” — Andy Serkis as Ulysses Klaue
At first I thought this one would rank way lower. I mean, the hand is cool and all, but then I kept looking at it. And it started to sink in: that face is… creepy. There are 10 pretty posters out today, and then this shockingly unsettling one. I think his eyes are following me…
5)”His Nation’s Security” — Daniel Kaluuya as W’Kabi
Deciding which poster would take this spot was tough. They’re all so good! But in the end, I just couldn’t get over Kaluuya’s stare. Dude knows how to stare RIGHT THROUGH YOU. He just gives me chills.
6)”Her King’s Love” — Lupita Nyong’o as Nakia (Dora Milaje)
What is there to say about Lupita? She’s stunning. End of story. Oh wait, also — those weapons look AWESOME.
7)”His People’s Rage” — Michael B. Jordan as Erik Killmonger
This is a spite ranking, because I can’t see his face. Also, because this poster is giving me a weird Punisher vibe for some reason. Like I keep looking at his breastplate and assuming there’ll be a big ol’ skull on it. That said, I’m still super into the weapons and the hair. And, you know, all of it.
8)”Her Son’s Survival” — Angela Bassett as Ramonda
Angela Bassett doesn’t need this poster, or this ranking. She doesn’t give a shit. She’s Angela Fucking Bassett. We’re lucky to even get to LOOK at her.
9)”His People’s Pride” — Winston Duke as M’Baku
I mean, I wouldn’t want to mess with him.
10)”His Father’s Legacy” — Chadwick Boseman as T’Challa AKA Black Panther
Look, I’m only rating him so low because we’ve seen plenty of him already. Besides, it’s his damn movie! And while those claws are, frankly, gorgeous, it wasn’t enough to surpass some of the surprises we got from the other posters. Don’t feel bad for him though. Somehow I think he’ll be just fine.
11)”His Country’s Orders” — Martin Freeman as, uh, Everett K. Ross (Is that his name? Really? OK.)
“HI, I’M BUREAUCRACY NICE TO MEET YOU” I feel kinda bad for Freeman. I like him, I really do! It’s just, like, why even give him this poster? He’s a dude in a suit. There’s no way anyone is going to care about him compared to the other TEN FUCKING BADASS CHARACTERS that also got posters. Still, props for rocking that serious/concerned face and folded arms so hard, dude. This may be the least of the posters, but it may become my new “extremely judging you” meme.
So yeah. Black Panther will be in theaters on February 16th, 2018. See you there!
And just in case you missed it the first time around, here’s a shot of the Black Panther cast chumming it up with the Thor:Ragnarok cast at San Diego Comic Con. We’re not worthy.
BONUS: I mean, whatever, let’s just keep piling on shit that makes us happy…