If you are lucky, very lucky, I will be telling you three things related to Keanu Reeves and The Matrix that you did not know before today.
First, that header picture up above? For some reason there is a very small niche on the internet composed basically of people photoshopping bananas into screenshots of The Matrix. So we got that going for us as a society.
Second, Keanu Reeves is teaming up with Roland Emmerich to create a show called New Angeles that has an eerily familiar plot according to Deadline:
“[The show will] follow a young man who escapes the mundane reality of his life by entering an exciting virtual reality world called New Angeles. Once down the rabbit hole, he adopts a new identity, becoming the man he was always destined to be, and in the process, unlocks the keys to a mystery that has real-world consequences for him and his family.”
Whoa, deja vu. And we know what that means.
Third, there is another corner of the internet dedicated to the proposition that Keanu Reeves is in fact immortal, with a selection of elaborate backstories as to when he gained immortalty, and what he has done with it. This is supplemented by the most wonderful pile of evidence outside of the vaccines-cause-autism delusions, taking the form of suggestive quotes by Keanu Reeves speaking of how he has enough money to last centuries, and centuries old portraits that look just like the better half of Bill and Ted.
Looks legit to me. And I’d vastly prefer a meta-sci-fi show in which Keanu Reeves plays Keanu Reeves, secret highlander to what at face value sounds kind of like a Matrix hack anyway.