Today in Complete and Total Bullsh*t
Not a one of the trade items below deserves its own separate entry, because most of it involves absurd casting rumors or unconfirmed projects. To wit: Here’s your Bullshit Round-Up.
First up, the most absurd of these rumors — despite the fact that Christopher Nolan still hasn’t officially signed on for a Dark Knight III, nor is there a script — or even a script idea, so far as I know — there are nevertheless rumors to the effect that Sam Worthington may replace Christian Bale as Batman in the third flick. If you don’t know who Sam Worthington is, that’s only because you’re like 99 percent of North America. He’s a largely unknown Australian actor, although he won’t be unknown for long — he’s lined up to play lead roles in Terminator Salvation, James Cameron’s Avatar, and as Perseus in the 2010’s Clash of the Titans. He’s, like, the next Christian Bale. The rumor comes from the Herald Sun, which sources “Industry Gossip,” which is to say that some enterprising reporter overheard a grip tell a gofer that Worthington would make a really good Batman if Bale were ever to explode into a pink mist of anger and fury.
It’s not happening.
In more likely but possibly less interesting news, there’s some speculation — fueled by Russell Brand himself — that he’s up to play Jack Sparrow’s brother in the fourth Pirates of the Caribbean movie. I don’t really know what’s the more disappointing news: That there’ll be a Pirates 4 (set for release in 2012), or that Russell Brand will be in it. The immensely amusing Forgetting Sarah Marshall notwithstanding, I hate to break this to you, but Russell Brand is the British Dane Cook. Dude’s got a couple of high profile movies on tap, but he’s already closing in on his expiration date. Brand was on Dave a couple of nights ago, and it took me less than 45 seconds to gleefully imagine taking a mallet to the man’s jawbone.
In other non-news, Danny Boyle will not be directing the next James Bond film, as someone somewhere once suggested. Also: He won’t be directing a Norbit sequel, Mr. and Mrs. Smith 2: Bobbing for Brangelina or Rush Hour 4: Anal Phlegm (I’m just covering all my bases). In fact, last I heard, he was talking about doing a full-on musical version of My Fair Lady scripted by Emma Thompson. Of course, that’s neither been confirmed nor denied yet, either.
Elsewhere, Kenneth Branagh was apparently spotted having lunch with Alexander Skarsgard (“Generaton Kill”), which according to Latino Review, strongly suggests that Skarsgard may be cast as the lead in Branagh’s Thor. Otherwise, why would they be having lunch? Two men in the same industry would never be seen together otherwise, particularly doing something that celebrities are not particularly known for doing: Eating meals.
Finally, earlier today, I suggested that Nathan Fillion would make an excellent Captain America. Soon after that post, I received an email from an “industry insider” validating my belief. I subsequently left a comment on a movie blog that I know Captain America’s director Joe Johnston reads, speculating that Fillion would get the part, and Johnston has yet to deny it. Therefore, it’s a possibility.
You heard it here first, folks. Nathan Fillion may play the lead in Captain America. It is definitely a possibility.