You know what I miss, besides [insert something that wasn’t great at the time, but can now be appreciated ironically]? Roman numerals. I don’t care if it’s a reboot, reset, retelling, sequel, or prequel. If it’s the same franchise, the subsequent entries should be called: [Franchise Name] [Roman Numeral] [Colon] [Subtitle]. Anything else offends me and is as unAmerican as soccer and borscht. And this is the Internet, where the only thing that matters is that someone is offended.
It just helps keep things organized in my head. I’ve seen twelve Star Trek films, and I don’t even know if it’s 12 or 11 without thinking really hard since they jettisoned the numerals after Kirk won the Cold War. How can we just have a jumble of a half dozen different titles? At least when book series do that, I can keep them in order on the shelf as a cry in the dark against anarchy. Although there are terrible people who don’t keep their bookshelves in order either, which shows so little respect for the written word that you might as well just be burning the damned books.
So yeah, not putting Roman numerals in film titles is the work of book burners. That’s why I am short handing X-Men: Days of Future Past (which seriously, is that title an inside joke about subjunctive verb tenses with grammar nerds?) as X-Men V.
Right, so the point of this article was that America’s favorite … I think I’m supposed to say dwarf, but all such terms sound politically incorrect to me, and I’m pretty sure in fifteen years that’s going to be considered a slur and a lot of “Game of Thrones” bloggers are going to have deep problems with old articles … Peter Dinklage has joined the cast of X-Men V! This is particularly interesting since the number of characters extant to the X-Men universe matching Dinklage’s physique is a very small one. The only one I can find is Puck, but I’m rooting for him to replace Hugh Jackman:
By the way, searching for “X-Men dwarf” on google, leads to some profoundly strange fan-fiction.