The FOX network, in another noble, brave attempt to curry favor with the unwashed, overweight masses, has come up with an exciting new idea for a date show. Instead of presenting vapid, twig-like blondes and half-brained consultants and lawyers with impeccable on their dating shows, FOX has reached into the rabbit hole and pulled out: Paul Blart and Norbit’s Rasputia.
That’s right, folks. Instead of a dumb dating show populated with pretty people, FOX is rolling out the patronizingly titled, “More to Love,” which will be a dumb dating show populated with “the rest of us,” which is to say: Overweight people (thanks for looking out, FOX, you condescending motherfuckers).
“For six years it’s been skinny-minis and good-looking bachelors, and that’s not what the dating world looks like,” Fox president of alternative Mike Darnell said. “Why don’t real women — the women who watch these shows, for the most part — have a chance to find love too?” Fox is developing the project with Mike Fleiss, the producer of ABC’s “The Bachelor.” Indeed, the project has a similar format to “Bachelor,” where a group of woman compete for one man (producers describe him as a “Kevin James-type”).
I love it! FOX is already calling its target demographic fat, and thinks that — just because its demo may or may not be overweight — their idea of a dreamboat is Paul fucking Blart. But here’s the hypocritical kicker: Not only will the show focus on “real overweight” people” just like me and you, but they’re also incorporating a makeover element to the show, as if to say: We want regular people, but we also want to make them prettier. And skinnier! Because real people are a lot more appealing if they’re a little less real.
And what else, really, could we expect from the network that brought us “My Big Fat Obnoxious Fiancé” and “The Littlest Groom”?
But hey! At least it’s not The Rock dressing up as Hannah Montana (zoom 30 seconds into the clip below, then burn your retinas):