As Dustin announced a good year ago at this point (the convulsions stopped around April, and the electroshock helped to suppress memories of the event, though this post shan’t help), Ridley Scott is making Monopoly: The Movie.
Oh, let that burning sensation really sink in, and then read this quote from Frank Beddor, the man responsible for the film’s story:
“He’s in this very vibrant place, Monopoly City, and he’s just come out of a Chance Shop. As it goes on, he takes on the evil Parker Brothers in the game of Monopoly. He has to defeat them. It tries to incorporate all the iconic imageries — a sports car pulls up, there’s someone on a horse, someone pushing a wheelbarrow — and rich Uncle Pennybags, you’re going to see him as the maître d’ at the restaurant and he’s the buggy driver and the local eccentric and the doorman at the opera. There’s all these sight gags.”
Well I guess they finally got the memo about not raping our childhoods, but just couldn’t stand not raping something, so they moved on to raping our intelligence instead.
Why in the world is Ridley Scott involved in this? He says: “I had these epic Monopoly battles with my family when I was young.”
I had epic battles with grammar class, which was twice as fun as a game of Monopoly, and no one has contracted me yet about a film deal. I think the real problem is that Ridley Scott’s childhood was maliciously boring.
In other news, the legendary Ray Bradbury is shopping around a six hour miniseries script he adapted from several of his short stories, but doesn’t have any directors on board yet. And the best script Ridley Scott can find is Monopoly: The Movie? I think Ridley needs Google Map directions to find “A Fucking Clue.”
(quotes from the LA Times)