The Live-Action 'Dora the Explorer' Casts The Title Character's Negligent Parents
If you have a child or have been around a child in the last 18 years, chances are you’ve yelled, “It’s behind you! JUST TURN THE HELL AROUND” at Dora the Explorer one or more times. The educational show follows elementary-aged Dora, her best friend Boots the Monkey, and anthropomorphic hiking gear as they search for three areas to complete some mission. The kids learn some Spanish, think monkeys can resist throwing poop when they don’t have pants on and gain a life-long belief that thieves can be thwarted if they chant “No swiping!” at them enough times.
In 2014, Dora got a makeover that included a new show where the titular character was aged up to around 10-years-old.
Gone are the rain forest and Dora’s trusty sidekick, Boots the monkey. The aged-up Dora takes on city life and is in a school where she has human friends who take part in real-life and magical adventures. She’s armed with a magical charm bracelet, and in a true sign of the times, her dependable Map has been upgraded to a Map app on her phone. Music is also a heavy player in the new series. via Los Angeles Times
A year later, Paramount announced plans for a live-action movie featuring Dora on a new adventure and dear God why. The flick is scheduled to hit theaters in August 2019 and boasts Isabela Moner (Sicario: Day of the Soldado) as Dora and Micke Moreno (Escobar: Paradise Lost) as Diego (a whole other kid show spun-off from Dora). Dora’s parents were rarely featured and thought nothing of their 7-year-old child cavorting around a jungle with a monkey in red, rubber boots. They were also cool with her delusions of a talking map and backpack. However, Eva Longoria and Michael Peña have been cast as Mr. and Mrs. The Explorer, leading people to believe they’ll pop up to hand their kid a magic mushroom or whatever it is they do. Hell, they let Dora rumble around the jungle with her infant twin siblings at one point.
The synopsis suggests more of the same, like they’ll just chill while their kid disappears for a while with her animal-obsessed cousin Diego and that damned monkey, Boots.
Per the studio, the movie will tell the story of Dora, a girl who has spent most of her life exploring the jungle with her parents but now must navigate her most dangerous adventure yet: high school. Always the explorer, Dora quickly finds herself leading Boots (her best friend, a monkey), Diego and a rag-tag group of teens on a Goonies-esque adventure to save her parents and solve the impossible mystery behind a lost Inca civilization via GeekTyrant.
I’m so happy that A: I don’t review movies here, so TK can’t make me watch this; and 3: my kid has no interest in this movie.
Image sources (in order of posting): Paramount Pictures, Nickelodeon
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