The ongoing feud between Michael Bay and Tyler Perry that has been going on in our comments section the last months has nearly torn our poor Pajiba family apart. Two camps have sprung up, leaving drive-by comments in the middle of night, and even innocent bystanders have been waylaid by collateral fire. It’s killing my heart, turning me into something I never thought I’d become. Something dark. A little sinister. My innocense has been lost. As sure as Kilimanjaro rises like Olympus above the Serangetti,
I seek to cure what’s deep inside, frightened of this thing that I’ve become
Up until now, I’ve tried to remain neutral. Choosing a side is akin to choosing between an Upper GI and a Lower GI. How do I choose? Do I drink the barium, or pour it into my ass?
Well, it’s all finally come to a head. After watching the video below of a “Michael Bay” directed cereal commercial, the decision is out of my hands. You win, Michael Bay! You are the greatest director of the generation, ney, in cinematic history. After watching your video, I’ve never wanted so badly to eat High School Musical cereal! Those delicious pink-and-yellow high-fructose corn syrup puffs, the glistening milk, the beautiful woman, and the slo-mo rain. Take me, Michael Bay. Take off your magnificent robe, and take me!