Ryan Murphy aka the guy who resurrected then promptly killed TV musicals and Jessica Lange’s career tweeted this yesterday:

This October, Max Greenfield (like you've never seen him) is checking in to the hotel….but not checking out. #AHSHotel

— Ryan Murphy (@MrRPMurphy) May 25, 2015

Which is cool, I guess? I mean if Ryan Murphy really wants to scare/ entice us at this point, he should have tweeted “This season will have a cohesive plot and satisfying ending! Ryan Murphy like you’ve never seen him before!” But if Murphy wants to add some literal new blood to the mix I can’t really find it in myself to care one way or another.

Wait, what was that?

Ugh. No, I don’t really think we should celebrate you, Schmidt. I don’t understand why you’re doing this. New Girl hasn’t been as good as season two for the past couple of years, but you’re still working regularly. And I’ve seen those McDonald’s commercials. You can’t possibly need the money. How big was this paycheck?

That seems justifiable. But what about your artistic integrity? If you start selling yourself for Ryan Murphy, where will it end?

I know! I could tell you were in trouble, I just didn’t know why.

That … is a lot of information to take in. I didn’t know. I just didn’t know how much pain you were in.

No, don’t do that! It’s ok. Everything is going to be ok. I’m here for you. And you know what we’ve got going on?

That’s right. You can go through with this AHS thing, or you can bail. Either way, I’ll be here for you. You can always tell me anything.

Maybe don’t tell people that though. We should try a different friendship activity.

Bingo. That’s it exactly. Because sometimes you might find yourself joining the already bloated cast of a shitty TV show, but it’s cool. You just gotta keep your head down and remind yourself:

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Emily Chambers is a Staff Contributor for Pajiba. You can follow her retweeting other people on Twitter.

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