On August 17th People shared an intimate, soul-bearing video of Mariah Carey feeling her feelings. The candid, emotional one-sided exchange had the star of Glitter letting a shark know that she was upset with it. To say that the video has stayed with anyone who viewed it, nearly two full weeks ago, is an understatement, because here we are still talking about it.
You can see the video, here.
This is not the first time a shark has upset someone, in fact 2018 has seen Jason Statham go head to head with one in the semi-autobiographical (I mean, I’m guessing) film The Meg, and let’s not forget that 2018 marks the 21st anniversary of Street Sharks, the cartoon about half-men half-shark crimefighters, being taken off the air. Has anyone recovered from that?
No, of course we haven’t.
Naturally, I’ve spent all ensuing nights and weekends thinking about Mariah’s encounter with the shark, echoing the voice of the small child towards the end of the video: “Why, Mommy. Why are you upset?”
Other publications have been no help. They choose to focus on the obvious: Mariah was in no imminent danger, and isn’t she so lucky to be on vacation on a boat?
Since then, it seems like I’m the only one trying to get to the bottom of why Mariah Carey was upset with the shark. It doesn’t seem like she was concerned for her physical safety. She was on a boat, and I’m sure she knows the fatality statistics surrounding unprovoked shark attacks from last year, she has a residency in Vegas after all! (For those of you wondering, the death toll last year was 5.)
Could she be having issues with Rihanna, who famously got matching shark tattoos with Aubrey Graham (Jimmy from Degrassi: The Next Generation)?
Not a likely conclusion, but the research took a sharp turn over the weekend, when Carey posted the following Instagram:
It’s all there in the picture.
Mariah Carey clearly likes to acknowledge and celebrate animal appreciation days. Shark Awareness Day is July 14th. Guess who didn’t post an Instagram that day with a shark?
So when she saw the shark on August 17th, she realized that she failed to celebrate its sharkness the month prior, and was “upset.”
Mariah (she’s a first name diva, always and forever, like Cher, Madonna, and Whitney) should be able to put this past her in time for the additional dates she added to her residency in Las Vegas, in February 2019. A consummate professional, if she’s still upset about the shark, her fans won’t know it.
Case closed. There’s always next year, Ms. Carey.
Image sources (in order of posting): Getty, Mariah Carey, Mariah Carey, Mariah Carey