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By Combining a Paper Clip, a Toothbrush and My Own Urine...

By TK Burton | Industry | March 17, 2009 |

By TK Burton | Industry | March 17, 2009 |

I’m gonna come out and say it right now, and it’s not the alcohol talking: “MacGyver,” the omnipresent 80’s TV show, sucked. It was stupid, pointless, and boring. Richard Dean Anderson attempted suave super genius and instead succeeded with Blandy McBlanderson. You may have wonderful memories of it, but as with shows like “The A-Team” and “Remington Steele,” the aging process has not been kind.

So of course they’re making a movie. New Line, a continuously hit-or-miss studio, is adapting it, though no actors, writers or directors have been attached. But they’re moving forward with production. No doubt some jackhole Michael Bay protege/sycophant will direct, it’ll be written by a pack of meth-addicted retarded monkeys, and someone like Chris Klein (parlaying his brilliant performance in Street Fighter, I’m sure) will get the lead based on his ability to squint and, you know, stand upright or some shit.

So there you have it, kiddies. More dumb shit on the horizon. Must be another day in my life.

TK Burton is the Editorial Director. You may email him here or follow him on Twitter.