Last week, in my review of Angels and Demons, I likened Tom Hanks’ Professor Langdon to MacGruber in his tendency to explain the motivations, the historical implications, and the consequences of each action before he’ll actually commit the action. It was semi-amusing once or twice in the context of an “SNL” skit (a skit that quickly wore out its welcome), but as Angels and Demons demonstrated, it’d never work in a full-length movie.
But that’s not stopping Lorne Michaels, who hasn’t spun off a decent “SNL” comedy since the first Wayne’s World, though he can count these among his many flops: Ladies Man, Night at the Roxbury, It’s Pat, and The Coneheads. At the Peabody Awards recently, Michaels told THR that a “McGruber” film is still being looked at. ‘It would have to be in the summer because we are back in production in the fall,’ he told THR when asked about the possible production timing. ‘We’re still in discussions’ on details, he added.”
Holy king of awful fucking ideas, Lorne-man. A MacGruber movie? Isn’t the entire point of MacGruber that he blows himself up 30 seconds into each skit? Are you to tell me that we might have to suffer through Will Forte not defusing a bomb for 88 minutes before dying in an explosion? Or will he survive multiple explosions in the same movie? How is it going to work? Will he be some sort of mullet-wearing Maxwell Smart version of MacGyver? Because we already had a Get Smart remake, and it was awful. And Will Forte is no Steve Carell.
If you have to make a movie out of an “SNL” character (and there’s no law saying you have to — it’s not like their particularly profitable or help the “SNL” brand), at least get Samberg and Justin Timberlake to make a full-length musical based on their “Dick in the Box” characters. It won’t be good, but it’ll have at least three or four minutes of humor, which is about three or four minutes more than MacGruber will have.