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UPDATE: Louis CK Masturbated in Front of Sarah Silverman And It Was 'Amazing,' Wait What?

By Mike Redmond | Industry | October 22, 2018 |

By Mike Redmond | Industry | October 22, 2018 |


Whenever some dude gets outed for being a sexual harasser, rapist, whatever horrible shit my gender is up to these days, there’s always a quote from some idiot who basically says, “Gosh, he never raped and/or murdered me. I bet he’s innocent.” Which is not at all infuriating because everyone knows we live in a comic book where criminals are easily spotted by their repetitive gimmicks. In Louis CK’s case it’d be, “Look out! It’s The Jerker!” and then we’d all put ponchos on.

Anyway, I brought up character references because Sarah Silverman stopped by Howard Stern this morning, where she revealed that CK used to masturbate in front of her when they were young comedians, but it was totally fine because it was always consensual. Via IndieWire:

“I’ve known Louis forever, I’m not making excuses for him, so please don’t take this that way. We are peers. We are equals. When we were kids, and he asked if he could masturbate in front of me, sometimes I’d go, ‘Fuck yeah I want to see that!’… It’s not analogous to the other women that are talking about what he did to them. He could offer me nothing. We were only just friends. Sometimes, yeah, I wanted to see it, it was amazing. Sometimes I would say, ‘Fucking no, gross,’ and we got pizza.”

Granted, what Silverman described is fine. She was onboard with whatever went down, so that’s not the issue. The issue is what the hell is she trying to accomplish here? On the one hand, Silverman makes sure to qualify that her experience with CK is entirely different than what he did to other women and that she’s not trying to defend him. She even goes so far to recount an incident where her boss at a Mexican restaurant brought her into his office and started masturbating in front of her, which she directly equates with Louis’ behavior.

On the other hand, what the fuck is this? Because it sure sounds like an excuse to me.

The overall point Silverman was making hinged on how C.K. initially failed to realize the inappropriate predicament he was putting younger comics in by asking to masturbate in front of them once he became well-known and more powerful within the comedy world. “Once he became powerful, even within just his [comedy] community, he felt like he was the same person, but the dynamic was different and it was not OK,” Silverman said.

I’m sorry, but a grown-ass man should be keenly aware that you can’t just start masturbating in front of random women. That’s an abundantly simple dynamic to understand even if Sarah Silverman used to be cool with you whipping it out in the context of a friendship where trust, familiarity, and most importantly, consent were clearly established. To put in the stupidest, most easy to digest terms: Just because one girlfriend used to be game for a sex act, in no way, shape, or form does that ever mean total strangers want to be surprised by it — or anything to do with your dick at all! I shouldn’t even have to say that out loud, and yet apparently, Sarah Silverman wants us to believe that concept is entirely lost on “genius” comic Louis CK. He’s just a big, dumb kid, you guys!

And speaking of CK’s genius, I’m getting absolutely tired of hearing this talking point.

“I believe he has remorse. I just want him to talk about it on stage. He’s going to have to find his way or not find his way.”

At first, I actually understood the desire to hear Louis CK talk about his experience getting justifiably caught by the #MeToo movement, because the guy is/was one hell of an insightful comic. But then as I heard “I want to hear him address it on stage” more and more, I realized something way too slowly: He’s a fucking liar. Why are we asking for this?

Louis CK is a performer. More precisely, he’s a writer and an actor. So what you saw on stage was not a 100 percent accurate depiction of his life even though a lot of his fans bought into it. But what should be obvious by now is that CK’s stand-up persona was almost definitely a front for the horrible shit he was pulling. His jokes about the dangers of dating men were at best, performative wokeness and at worst, Louis CK telling us exactly who he is, getting away with it. His entire act was artifice, and yet the most prominent response to his sexual abuse is, “Hey, can we get some more bullshit?”

Cool times.

UPDATE: Louis CK accuser Rebecca Corey apparently caught wind of Silverman’s comments and fired back on Twitter. If you’re not familiar with Corey’s story, she was filming a pilot in 2005 when CK randomly approached her on set and allegedly asked to masturbate in front of her in her dressing room. (Maybe he thought she was Silverman. LOL, boys!) But the incident didn’t stop there and the ramifications to her career have continued to this day, which Corey detailed in a scathing op-ed for Vulture that takes the entertainment and comedy scene to task for protecting CK at the further expense of his victims. In other words, she has pretty much every reason to be pissed.

This tweet prompted an exchange between Silverman and Corey that ends cordially, but does anyone actually believe Sarah Silverman doesn’t have the clout to shut down questions about CK? Plus it’s not like Howard Stern put a gun to her head and told her to say, “Hey, Louis masturbated in front of me all the time and it was GREAT!” But if Silverman’s apology is enough for Corry, awesome. I’m just some rando on the internet.

Mike is a Staff Contributor living in Pennsyltucky. You can follow him on Twitter.

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