Do you remember when everyone said, “Jonah Hill is doing a 21 Jump Street movie? With Charming Potato?!?? THAT WILL SUCK.” Then the movie came out and made (some of) us cackle loudly and screech with delight. That was a good time. Collider reports that Tatum and Hill will return to the sequel, as will directors Phil Lord and Chris Miller and writer Michael Bacall, for a probable 2014 release.
Perhaps I should have learned a lesson with 21 Jump Street, but I believe that a remake of Weird Science will be worse than having a raging party at your house crashed by a bunch of motorcycle-riding buttwads with questionable hygiene while your brother sits in the kitchen, being a pile of sh*t.
I will admit that the news of Bacall writing the script has promise, but I remain unconvinced. Universal is counting on remaking the movie in the vein of The Hangover: R-rated and raunchy. Have you watched Weird Science as an adult? Sh*t’s creepy as ALL HELL. They’re going to up the raunch of an adult woman teaching underage kids about using their ding-dangs? Don’t get me wrong, I watched it a lot as a kid and put my bra on my dog’s head just to make a Weird Science joke, bu t… if they got Angelina Jolie to play Lisa …
Now, here’s some news about a movie based on a true story of tag. You know, like “Tag, you’re it”? Yes. Will Ferrell and Jack Black are in talks to star in Tag Brothers, based on a Wall Street Journal article about men in their 40s that meet every February to play an epic, far-reaching game of tag. I’m going to sit here and imagine the different ways Ferrell and Black would devise to tag each other. Perhaps hiding in a car trunk or behind a bush? Infiltrating a workplace or hijacking a boat? If Mark Steilen’s screenplay is up to their standards, we might find out.
Another original(ish) property is Brad Bird’s Tomorrowland, written by Damon Lindelof and Jeff Jensen. George Clooney stars in the film as an inventor who is attempting to figure out what happened to Tomorrowland, as it now exists in an alternate dimension. Clooney will be joined by a teenage girl and a pre-pubescent robot. The robot will be played by Raffey Cassidy (Snow White and the Hunstman). But wait! It gets weirder! Cassidy’s robot girl knows different combat techniques and has a relationship with Clooney’s inventor. Yeah. That doesn’t sound creepy or like a smoke monster/cave of light type scenario at all.