Essentially, Kevin Costner was put on this Earth to play decent to good washed-up athletes and ruin Westerns. Sure, he had an Oscar-nominated hit with Dances With Wolves (which is on my “I refuse to watch it no matter how good it is” list), but he has since gone on to basically mock the genre with Wyatt Earp, Open Range, The Postman, and Waterworld, which was essentially a Western on water.
Now he’s set to further diminish the Western genre. Costner is developing a (fucking) four-hour Western for A&E (because it’s the only place left he can get a job). The miniseries, which he may direct and may even star in (depending on the script), is expected to be a post-Civil War story covering a major conflict in the settlement of the West.
And, according to THR:
“Costner understands the Western better than anybody, and he respects the genre,” said Tana Nugent Jamieson, the network’s senior vp drama programming. “He knows every bit of detail about the West; this is a genre he feels a lot of passion for. It’s a perfect fit.”
Man, that is rich. If Costner really respected the genre, he’d stick to sports movies. I’m sure there’s some movie out there about a 50-year-old baseball player making a final comeback in order to salvage his legacy and get the girl.
In other television news that probably doesn’t warrant Seth taking a break from billing clients $550 an hour to report, Joss Stone is returning to “The Tudors” for its final season. She will reprise her role as Anne of Cleves. Spoiler: She gets to keep her head.
And finally, here are this week’s top 20 programs. Guess what? They look just like last week’s:
1. (1) “American Idol” (Wednesday), Fox, 23.57 million viewers.
2. (2) “American Idol” (Tuesday), Fox, 23.41 million viewers.
3. (3) “Dancing with the Stars,” ABC, 20.28 million viewers.
4. (5) “NCIS,” CBS, 16.72 million viewers.
5. (7) “The Mentalist,” CBS, 16.68 million viewers.
6. (15) “Grey’s Anatomy,” ABC, 15.55 million viewers.
7. (4) “CSI: Crime Scene Investigation,” CBS, 14.91 million viewers.
8. (8) “Dancing with the Stars Results,” ABC, 14.56 million viewers.
9. (10) “Two and a Half Men,” CBS, 14.17 million viewers.
10. (12) “Criminal Minds,” CBS, 14.13 million viewers.
11. (13) “CSI: Miami,” CBS, 13.72 million viewers.
12. (16) “CSI: NY,” CBS, 13.4 million viewers.
13. (9) “Desperate Housewives,” ABC, 12.29 million viewers.
14. (18) “House,” Fox, 12.05 million viewers.
15. (17) “Survivor: Tocantins,” CBS, 11.99 million viewers.
16. (20) “Cold Case,” CBS, 11.84 million viewers.
17. (18) “Without a Trace,” CBS, 11.83 million viewers.
18. (24) “Rules of Engagement,” CBS, 11.33 million viewers.
19. (27) “Amazing Race 14,” CBS, 10.49 million viewers.
20. (X) “Michael J. Fox: Adventures of an Incurable Optimist,” ABC, 10.23 million viewers.
Of note, the season finale of “Dollhouse” finished poorly last Friday, coming in 5th, in front of only a rerun of “American’s Top Model” on The CW. Odds of survival: 3 percent. The “Scrubs” finale fared pretty well, finishing second in its timeslot and beating out another bubble show, “The New Adventures of the Old Christine.” “Scrubs” is apparently in a strong position to be picked up next season without Zach Braff, as is the best comedy on television right now, “Better Off Ted.” Seth will likely keep you updated on the renewals and cancellations this week and next.
Now, before I sign off, to satiate my curiosity, could someone tell me what’s going on over on “Grey’s Anatomy”? I haven’t seen it since I quit recapping it, but am I to understand that Alex married Izzie, who has a brain tumor or is in a coma or something? Fill me in. How many ways has the shark jumped over the show?