Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde is another one of those classics, like Frankenstein, that so rarely is treated well by Hollywood. In fact, it’s routinely abused. Slapped around like a kid caught stealing. The BBC series, “Jekyll,” started off with promise but descended into silliness. Mary Reilly? I don’t bloody think so. And let’s not even talk about the hideous CGI adaptations used in The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen or Van Helsing. Good God, Stevenson should have risen from the dead and devoured everyone involved with those disasters.
Well, Hollywood is giving it another go, this time it’ll be a “contemporary retelling.”
Oh. Goodie. Because those always work well.
But better yet, this one will be a modern retelling starring
Neo Johnny Utah Jack Traven Johnny Mnemonic Ted “Theodore” Logan Keanu Reeves. Oh yeah. Because when I think “classic literary works,” I think Keanu fucking Reeves. Reeves is like Schwarzenegger — he’s not talented. I don’t think he ever really acts. But give him the proper material, and he’ll be entertaining.
This is not the proper material.
However, using at the technological tools at our disposal, and through the magic of computer wizardry, we here at Pajiba have been able to exclusively project what Keanu Reeves will look like as both Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde.
Here is what Keanu will look like as Dr. Jekyll:
And here is what Keanu will look like as Mr. Hyde: