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If a Half Retard Plays a Half Retard is that Full Retard?

By Dustin Rowles | Industry | September 1, 2009 |

By Dustin Rowles | Industry | September 1, 2009 |

We haven’t beaten up on Keanu Reeves in a while, and I kind of miss the guy. He hasn’t been in anything since the atrocious The Day the Earth Stood Still and the last time we spoke his name, I believe, was when it was announced that he’d be starring in yet another retelling of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde. At least he’s got The Private Lives of Pippa Lee coming out later this year. Whatever that is.

Anyway, Keanu has lined up another project, and sadly, it focuses on his softer side, and as we all know, Keanu’s softer side is less puppy licks and more rotten fruit. No matter: I actually adore that he keeps trying to act. It’s a lot like potty training my son before he knows what he’s doing — he sits and sits really well, but nothing comes out yet. Sometimes, though, he’ll make the right face! It’s cute, really. Keanu is sort of the opposite — he knows how to make shit, he just doesn’t have the right face for it. I bet he has that same detached and bored face while he’s popping a deuce, too.

And now I’ve traveled into uncomfortable territory.

So, where were we? Ah yes: Keanu is taking a turn for the Capra-esque. He’ll be producing and starring in Henry’s Crime. It’s a romantic comedy where Keanu will play a big-hearted man (read: Half-wit) who is falsely accused of robbing a bank. Well, he’s certainly got the half-wit right. The good news, I suppose, is that he won’t be going full retard. Just Keanu retard.

The script comes from Sacha Gervasi, who wrote The Terminal and directed the pretty decent documentary, Anvil: The Story of Anvil.

Filming will begin in November in Buffalo. It should account for roughly 30 percent of Buffalo’s income this year.

The Best British Films | DVD Release 09/01/09

Dustin is the founder and co-owner of Pajiba. You may email him here, follow him on Twitter, or listen to his weekly TV podcast, Podjiba.