You remember when we announced that there’d be a Karate Kid remake starring Will Smith’s kid and Jackie Chan? Of course you don’t! You blocked that shit out, either cause you have an inordinate fondness of the original, or because you watched it after you turned 13, realized it was a cinematic wet sandwich (I mean: Come on), and stored that news in the apathetic section of your brain.
Well, you can’t ignore it any longer. They are filming this mother f*@ker, and after about four hours of editing, the Smith family is gonna cram it down your throat. And they’ll do it with such kind eyes that you’ll say please and thank you and ask for a sequel.
I mean: Who doesn’t want to see a Karate Kid remake where Jaden Smith’s character’s name is Dre? Dre, y’all! Like the Doctor. Only tiny. And really fucking well connected. Oh, and Mr. Miyagi’s name has been changed, too, to Mr. Han. Like Han Solo. Or like Hand me a hammer claw so I can scoop out my eyeballs.
Anyway, here’s some photos from the set. The first one is the best, because it suggests that there’s a love story in the Karate Kid remake. But let me remind you: Jaden Smith is 11 years old. Love story? Dude needs to deal with puberty first.
But ah: It does remind me of Elizabeth Shue, who — thanks to Karate Kid and Adventures in Babysitting — was my first movie love.