The horrible news first: ABC is developing a new multi-camera sitcom (never a good idea) called “I’m with Stupid.” Based on Elaine Szewczyk’s novel, “Stupid” concerns a Manhattan-born-and-bred woman who has a fling with a seemingly perfect park ranger while on safari in South Africa. When she returns home, she wonders whether she’ll ever hear from him again, only to have him arrive unannounced at her doorstep. She quickly realizes, however, that her new roommate has limited intellectual capabilities.
How the fuck do you turn that into a full-length television series? Jesus: Try, people. At least try.
Anyway: The good news is that it stars this generation’s Joan Cusack, Judy Greer, who is basically the awesome best friend in every bad romantic comedy you’ve seen over the last five years (also, she was in “Arrested Development.”) That’s only good news, however, if you consider the notion that Judy Greer is getting work to be good news.
However, even worse is that the horribly titled “I’m with Stupid” comes from Allan Loeb (the screenwriter of 21), who may very well be the worst writer in Hollywood today. Allan Loeb may be a familiar name to you right now — last week, it was announced that Loeb is working on a cross-dressing comedy for Ryan Reynolds, news that sent my gag reflex into an epileptic fit. He’s also working on another romantic comedy called The Baster, starring Jennifer Aniston and Jason Bateman, about a 40-year-old woman who turns to a turkey baster to conceive, only to discover years later that Bateman’s character switched out her preferred semen for his own. (An awful, awful premise, though it’s inexplicably based on a Jeffrey Eugenides (Middlesex) short story that I haven’t read).
In other television news, Paul Rust — the lead in the awful I Love You, Beth Cooper (based on one of the best coming-of-age novels of the decade) — is also set to star in a new sitcom. Rust will write and star; the show revolves around a man who graduates from the University of Iowa and returns to his small hometown, only to end up working at a Wal-Mart. The idea is based on Rust’s own experiences working for the retailer.
Huh. That’s funny. I worked for Wal-Mart for three years back in college, and I seriously doubt I had enough material to churn out two episodes. Wait. That’s not true. I did have a stalker, George — a very wealthy older man who invited me to his home and, much to my surprise, turned on a soft-core porn about a priest who molested his parishioners. George put his hand on my knee during the film and made weird old-man advances. That was easily one of the most uncomfortable experiences of my life. I ended up having to change my phone number, because the man wouldn’t stop calling (“Hi Dustin. This is George, your not-so-secret admirer.” Ew. Ech. Repressed memories).
Oh shit: It’s all coming back to me. Nevermind. Great idea for a television series. If you need a consultant, Paul Rust, you know where to reach me.
Finally, a little good news: ABC has picked up the back nine for Nathon Fillion’s “Castle.” That means two full seasons of Fillion goodness.