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A Man So Hard, His Veins Bleed Ice

By TK Burton | Industry | September 11, 2009 |

By TK Burton | Industry | September 11, 2009 |

While I may have expressed some excitement over the recent news of Stallone and Rambo 5, one thing I will never, ever forgive him Hollywood Pictures for is the atrocious 1995 adaptation of Judge Dredd, one of the greatest comic books ever. It was an absolute travesty of a picture, a kick to the scrote of any fan of the comics. The idea for a new adaptation has been floating around for a while now, but now there’s actually news.

Believe it or not, it’s actually good news.

Rebellion and DNA Films (Danny Boyle’s production company) will be producing the new version, and they’ve signed Alex Garland to write the script. Who is Alex Garland? Oh, just the guy who wrote 28 Days Later, as well as the stunning-yet-flawed Sunshine. He’s a regular collaborator with director Danny Boyle. So, we’ve got a god writer and a solid producer on board.

Could… could this mean that we’ll actually get a good adaptation? Something that captures the grit, humanity, and, yes, heavy-duty violence that made the comics so engaging? A true depiction of Mega-City One? Where Judges serve as instant judges, juries and executioners? Where “I am the Law” actually means something? Where there’s no fucking Rob Schneider? Because, seriously, whenever I see Rob Schneider, I want to rip out his larynx and cram it into his stupid, unfunny ass.

A guy can dream, can’t he?

The boys from Anthrax will be thrilled.

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TK Burton is an Editorial Consultant. You may email him here or follow him on Twitter.