Hellmouth and succotash, ladybirds and gentlefolk. Joss Whedon — the man who provides dreams that only FOX can smash — wants the rights to the Terminator franchise and figures he can get them cheap. And why not? The studio that currently holds the rights is going belly-up faster than America’s banking system. So, Whedon — in an open letter — is offering $10,000 to take the rights off of Halycyon Entertainment, and even makes several promises, in exchange for said rights:
1) Terminator… of the Rings! Yeah, what if he time-traveled TOO far… back to when there was dragons and wizards? (I think it was the Dark Ages.) Hasta La Vista, Boramir! Cool, huh? “Now you gonna be Gandalf the Red!” RRRRIP! But then he totally helps, because he’s a cyborg and he doesn’t give a s#&% about the ring — it has no power over him! And he can carry it AND Frodo AND Sam AND [email protected]%& up some orcs while he’s doing it. This stuff just comes to me. I mean it. (I will also offer $10,000 for the Lord of the Rings franchise).
2) More Glau. Hey. There’s a reason they’re called “Summer” movies.
3) Can you say… musical? Well don’t. Even I know that’s an awful idea.
4) Christian Bale’s John Connor will get a throat lozenge. This will also help his Batwork (ten grand for that franchise too, btw.)
5) More porn. John Connor never told Kyle Reese this, but his main objective in going to the past was to get some. What if there’s a lot of future-babies that have to be made? Cue wah-wah pedal guitar — and dollar signs!
6) The movies will stop getting less cool.
Oh *swoon* you balding genius. Take me, take me in your Terminator time machine — we’ll go back and bust some caps in some Fox execs asses for shutting down “Firefly” and then we’ll make sweet sweet music together.
Oh, but there’s more! Actually, this is not new news, but it’s the same news that Whedon revealed a while back repeated by Nathon Fillion, which gives it extra sexiness (and twice as much chin!). Fillion assures us that there is not only a “Dr. Horrible” sequel in the works, but that there’s also a title and some music written.
“Joss, I was talking to him right before we won the Emmy,” said Fillion. “He said that he’s finished writing a song or two. He told me a couple of verses to the song.”
“It’s going to be great,” he said. “I know a bunch of cast members of Dr. Horrible who would love to get back into it.”
And that, folks, is about 10 times more progress than the “Arrested Development” movie has made over the last three years. Color me purple. With some yellow highlights.
Finally, if the sequel never actually comes to fruition, we can at least rely on Horrible Turn, a fan-made prequel about the early life of Dr. Horrible which is in the works. Here’s the trailer for that — the full-length movie is expected out in 9 days. Count ‘em down, hombres and swizzle sticks: