Though he did not offer much by way of details, during the Taormina Film Festival this weekend, John Turturro told a master class that “If I can get the permission I need, I’d like to return to [the] role” of Jesus, his iconic character from the film, The Big Lebowski.
The idea would be that he’d direct the film. This, of course, is fantastic news for every douchebag in America who has had a bowling shirt made for themselves with The Jesus inscribed as the name (including myself). That clearance, of course, would need to come from the Coen Brothers, who have never made a sequel before, though they did grant permission to Noah Hawley to take the Fargo spirit to television.
There are many reasons to make this movie (cash, money, cashier’s checks) and so many directions Turturro could take, but obviously, a Lars and the Real Girl kind of a movie about The Jesus courting a bowling ball with dancing, foreplay, and ultimately oral pleasure, would be the ideal premise. But that’s, like, just my opinion, man.
Nobody fucks with the Jesus. #obligatory