Let’s take a moment to brainstorm some ideas for The Worst Movie Ever Made. Something to rival a thousand and one Sharknados. Here’s a good jumping-off point: a Baywatch movie.
That’s not a terrible enough idea? Well, how about an unlicensed Baywatch movie, so you can’t actually use the show’s title? And we can make a joke out of it, over and over and over. And over and over. Like, someone will be about to say “Baywatch” and we’ll blow something up or have someone eaten by a shark or something to cover it. And we’ll do that sooooo many times. How does that sound?
Okay, fine. One more idea. What if we get a bunch of the original actors from the show, but they don’t play their characters, see? They play themselves! And they, like… fight crime! Have we reached the next level of bonkers yet? Well, this is the ACTUAL movie that John Cleese has signed on to play the villain in. It’s called The B Team, and it is all of the above and more. Cleese’s character’s name, by the way, is Victor Van Vaught, just in case you weren’t sure how evil/awful he is.
The two shining silver linings of hope that this news brings? First, I’ve now been reminded on the existence of Jeremy Jackson:
I’m pretty sure I had this exact picture on my bedroom wall, crammed between some JTTs.
And two, they can never take this away from John Cleese. Not ever. Not for a billion Baywatches.