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So Committed to Role in Three Stooges, Jim Carrey Decides to Eat Wife

By Dustin Rowles | Industry | March 25, 2009 |

By Dustin Rowles | Industry | March 25, 2009 |

Because I have absolutely no choice but to report it, as it’s as big a casting story as you’re likely to hear this month: It’s been confirmed that Sean Penn, as reported over a month ago by FilmDrunk, will play Larry in the Farrelly Brothers’ Three Stooges movie. Not only that, but Jim Carrey has also been signed on to play Curly, a role in which he’ll gain 40 pounds to fit the part. As for Moe, apparently Benicio Del Toro is in the running to take on that role.

Benicio Del Toro, Sean Penn, and Jim Carrey. In the same movie. A comedy, no less.

Dollars to donuts, Jim Carrey goes all method, and either Del Toro or Penn beats the living crap out of him before the shoot is over. Can you imagine? Sean Penn is already the most humorless bastard on the face of the Earth, and Del Toro often looks as though he’s searching for an excuse to kill the son of a bitch who botches an eye gouge scene.

That’s going to be a fun set to work on. They should get Christian Bale to play Shemp, and then take bets on who hands out the first neck choke.

As previously reported, The Three Stooges won’t be a biopic - it’ll be an episodic series of Three Stooges shenanigans. The Farrellys will be working from of their own devising.

I’m still convinced this is all an elaborate hoax, and that somehow Joaquin Phoenix is involved.

Dustin is the founder and co-owner of Pajiba. You may email him here, follow him on Twitter, or listen to his weekly TV podcast, Podjiba.