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I'm F**king Matt Damon Jennifer Aniston

By Dustin Rowles | Industry | July 30, 2009 |

By Dustin Rowles | Industry | July 30, 2009 |

The thing is: Jennifer Aniston is actually capable of making a movie that’s not a romantic comedy. I’ve seen it. The Good Girl and Friends with Money come to mind, immediately. But, I suppose, she’s 40 now, and she’s determined to get every last ounce of romantic leading lady jujube she has left before her ovaries dry up (at least, that’s what I suspect her agent is telling her). She has nine projects either in development or completed, and my guess is that she plays a love interest in all nine.

Make that ten.

Aniston, busy beefing her her iMDB filmography, has signed on to Pumas, which is a movie about two Cougars, but I guess because her “Friends” co-star, Courtney Cox, has a show called “Cougar Town,” coming out in the fall, they decided against using that title. Puma also sounds younger than a Cougar. So, there you go.

The script, which involved every drop of creative juice sitting in the back refrigerator of a 7/11, centers on two thirtysomething women who make a habit of romancing younger men and take a French skiing vacation that challenges their romantic expectations.

Wow. You think she’ll fall in love with a man her own age? Probably, but maybe she’ll throw us a loop, and “challenges romantic expectations” actually means that Aniston will swap gravy with her as yet unnamed female co-star. Don’t count on it.

The movie will be directed by good old Wayne McClammy, who you wouldn’t know from Anne Coulter’s goiter: He’s the man behind both of the Jimmy Kimmel skits, “I’m fucking Matt Damon,” and “I’m Fucking Ben Affleck.” And, really, what else do you need to get someone to throw you a movie? I can’t wait for the trailers: “From the Guy Who Brought You: ‘I”m Bleeping Matt Damon’ comes a tepid Jennifer Aniston comedy about older women who bleep their pool boys.”

In the dismissive words of BarbadoSlim: Pffffffft. Pass.

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Dustin is the founder and co-owner of Pajiba. You may email him here, follow him on Twitter, or listen to his weekly TV podcast, Podjiba.